I am the mother I am today because I chose an abortion at 19

I wrote this for Mother’s Day because of how the leak happened just days before the holiday. As we anticipate the Supreme Court’s dismantling of Roe vs. Wade and severely limiting abortion access, I want to share it here and hope you will all read and share my abortion story.

For a pregnant person without financial means, abortion costs are already a hardship. My father threw me out of the house shortly after my high school graduation. It was 1993, and I lived in a northern Kentucky suburb of Cincinnati. 

I’m the mom I am today because I chose an abortion at 19 | Opinion

It’s peculiar timing that a few days before Mother’s Day, the draft opinion of a Supreme Court ruling that would overturn Roe v. Wade gets leaked. But perhaps that was intentional considering that the ruling would force motherhood on women who would otherwise not have chosen it.

Learn more about Bonnie Jean HERE

Finding Gratitude in the Little Gifts of Online Learning

I hope you’ll read the full column linked below. But here’s an excerpt:

“Remote learning is a gift beyond keeping kids safe. It’s a gift to the children to do something out of the ordinary. My son doesn’t have to wear his uniform shirt and he can see the big smiles of his teacher and his classmates since masks aren’t needed. It’s definitely a gift for me to be able to witness some of my child’s learning. The pandemic has prevented me from volunteering in his classroom and meeting his school friends.”

Read more from Bonnie HERE and HERE

That One Night When My Nashville Dreams Came True

It’s a new year with so many fresh intentions, resolutions and goals being set so for this week’s column I decided to write about dreams come true. This memory makes me smile and I think we could all use a smile right about now. And yes, they used a photo of me from that night. Red eyes and all.

“Mine was an unoriginal dream for Nashville. Just ask the souvenir shopkeeper, and yep, she’s a songwriter, too. I arrived by myself, collecting phone numbers, CDs and quite possibly a contact high along the way. I left with a feeling of camaraderie with other dream-seekers who expressed themselves through words and music.”

Read the full column at the link below and then keep scrolling to listen to the two cheesy originals I performed while I was there.

The songs I played and recorded while in Nashville

Foster Kindness, Identify Solutions and Spread Joy in 2022

“One of the perks of being a columnist and working as an opinion editor is the email I get. I receive direct responses to what I’ve written as well as letters to the editor about issues of the day and op-eds from the community at large. I say this is a perk because I do not exist in an echo chamber or some sort of political vacuum. Because of this, I read kindness from all sides and perspectives. I also see meanness from all sides. It’s difficult to maintain an us-versus-them attitude when I have the opportunity to witness a melting pot of humanity right here in my inbox.”

I hope you’ll read the full column in the link below.

if you missed my column about why we shouldn’t give Santa so much credit for gifts I hope you’ll read below.

Why gratitude and service go hand in hand

As we head into the season on gratitude and giving, I wanted to focus my columns on what it meant for our community and for ourselves. I hope you enjoy reading this four-part series and reflecting on what this means for you. All four columns linked below.

Be the Helper You Need To See in the World

Whether it’s in friendship or community, it’s hard, satisfying work for which nothing is owed and no one has to earn. It’s our humanity. This season of gratitude and joy let’s say “yes” to the work that needs doing and discover the helper within. Read the column HERE.

Volunteering Helps Both the Community and the Volunteer

There’s also some science to the idea of helping oneself by helping others. Snyder’s research showed that those who volunteer long-term don’t stay for altruistic reasons alone; they keep going back because they see the benefits in their own lives. Read the column HERE.

How Cultivating Your Purpose Begins With Knowing Yourself

How we react, overcome and persevere is intrinsically tied to our sense of purpose and it turns out that purpose is tied to how well we know ourselves. Burrow says it this way: “We might start to think of identity as sort of a foundational layer of self-understanding that when you are equipped with a sense of identity, you might stand a chance at figuring out and cultivating your sense of purpose.”

Purpose is a life aim, something that’s always in front of you and never quite finished. It’s different from a goal. Purpose is connected to our well-being and provides stability. Read the column HERE.

It’s OK to gush with gratitude, so let the love flow

The more thank-you cards I wrote the easier it became, and I noticed a shift. Something was happening internally. I stopped using a script and I started just writing in real-time. It shifted from a practice to sending something truly heartfelt. I could feel the gratitude radiating from me as I wrote. A big smile would form on my face, and sometimes I would well up with tears. My gratitude was deep and real, and though I had felt gratitude before, writing it out by hand for my intended recipient helped me feel it in full. Read the whole column HERE

Breastfeeding Moms Need Support to Succeed

“Last week, a Washington mom made news by getting kicked out of a restaurant for breastfeeding her infant son. Women need support, not judgement, and certainly not shame when feeding their babies. The restaurant owner made a bad situation worse when responding to the family’s online review, “Be like decent people not like animals, there are places for everything and this place is not to breastfeed your children.”

“The science supports that “breast is best,” but what we don’t talk about is that the most common deterrent from breastfeeding is lack of support.”

Read the full column below

Read more from Bonnie Jean HERE and HERE.

The Disruption This World Needs

Bonnie Jean with her son at the park

“We like to talk about “getting back to normal” which feels like a comfy old shoe. On the other hand, a “new normal” was thrust upon us, born from necessity with masks, sanitizer and social distancing. However, the pandemic has carried on long enough that I no longer crave getting back to some pre-COVID-19 before times “normal.” Something in me has crossed over.

“I want more from life.

“Humanity is in a collective existential crisis.

“Our mortality is being showcased, and we’re all coping in real time in our own way. Whether that’s in denial, in faith, through science or ritual, we are all taking a hard look at what it means to live.”

Read the whole column at the link below.

Read more from Bonnie Jean HERE and HERE.

Parent choice for masks isn’t helpful in the classroom

Teaching a class of 25-plus kids requires some uniformity and consistency in expectations for the day to run smoothly. Why then, are people advocating for “parent’s choice” when it comes to school mask mandates?

Read the full column linked below

Read more from Bonnie Jean HERE and HERE.

Back-To-School Mental Health Series

Bonnie Jean with her family for her son’s first birthday.

So many things in the press recently have come with a mental health cry for our children. Mask mandates, Critical Race Theory, Transgender rights… “Our poor children.”

In this back-to-school mental heath series I take a look at what the mental health issues of back-to-school really are, with the help of a few mental health experts along the way. Below, is the result. Both in a 50-minute podcast and four short columns. I hope you’ll listen, read and share.

Parent Footprint Podcast with Dr. Dan Peters

Thank you Dr. Dan Peters for inviting me on the Parent Footprint Podcast to talk about my back-to-school mental health series. Listen to it here or at the link below.

Dr. Dan talks to award-winning columnist Bonnie Jean Feldkamp about her new three part Back To School series which focuses on therapy, mental wellness, parenting mistakes, adolescent milestones, masks, and more. Bonnie passionately believes that prioritizing mental health is even more important than other Back To School essentials like backpacks, new sneakers, and haircuts.

Mental Health is a Back To School Essential with Bonnie Jean Feldkamp

Dr. Dan talks to award-winning columnist Bonnie Jean Feldkamp about her new three part Back To School series which focuses on therapy, mental wellness, parenting mistakes, adolescent milestones, masks, and more. Bonnie passionately believes that prioritizing mental health is even more important than other Back To School essentials like backpacks, new sneakers, and haircuts.

Read the Back-to-School Mental Health Columns

Unmasking Support for Mental Health in School

If you are pro-mental health of kids or pro-suicide prevention, then you should consider supporting policies that benefit youth mental health across the board.
Read More…

Mental Health Matters More Than Adolescent Milestones

Though I didn’t have a pandemic to contend with, I saw my bright, talented kid struggling and wanted the best for her. But taking a “timeout” for mental health seemed like it would just add to her hardships down the road. 
Read More

Therapy Is a Valuable Parenting Resource

Vulnerability requires courage, and parents should cultivate trust and create a safe space for their children to be vulnerable in both good and challenging times. Creating emotional equity in regular conversations that prioritizes mental health and normalizes talking about our feelings will help diffuse some of the shame that society has attached to psychological wellness. 
Read More…

Making Peace with Parenting Mistakes

I love my children, but love doesn’t make anyone perfect. I know my intentions, but I also know that I still don’t agree with every choice my parents made for me. My goal was to do better than my parents, but it turns out I’m not any better; I’m just different. Now that I’m older and have children of my own, I do understand more, but I’m also trying to understand it from both ends.
Read More…

Read more from Bonnie Jean HERE and HERE.

The Challenges I’ve Faced Trying to Manage My Weight with Psoriatic Arthritis

It’s hard to do everything you know you “should” be doing when symptoms like pain and fatigue keep getting in the way.

“Though it’s logical to think that managing your weight can also help manage your quality of life, that’s easier said than done when your body hurts.”

Read the article at the link below.

Read more from Bonnie Jean HERE and HERE.